Wednesday, July 11, 2012

German porcelain thrones: your treats on display

Mr. Clean's German cousin

The toilet post was a bit backed up with me being clogged with work.  Anyway, the gist of this post is to comment on the fact that toilets in Germany aren't like those in the States or Japan or most other countries I've been to.  They operate like conventional toilets in that they serve as flushable receptacles for poops and other things--however, the key difference is that for whatever reason the Germans felt that their toilets needed to have a "ledge."  A simple bowl-shaped design was clearly insufficient apparently.  There are many reasons why the ledge is a terrible idea but the commonly stated explanation for this design trait is that the Germans, being a health-conscious peoples, seem to prefer being able to inspect their brown deposits before walking away and going about their usual activities.  While I'll admit that pooping out of the water will surely make obtaining a stool sample very easy--is this convenience really worth having to poop out of the water every time?

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Due to the fact that a ledge exists and depending on one's stool consistency, things get a bit, let's say, "streaky."  The Germans realized this as well, but instead of foregoing the ledge and adopting the bowl-design, they've adapted to the problem by placing and requiring the use of a toilet brush next to each and every toilet so that you can clean up your own messes.  What this means is that you'll find a nasty toilet brush everywhere--even next to public toilets.  What makes things even more difficult to understand is that there are a variety of toilet ledge designs out there, with ledges in the front, back, etc.  Perhaps a forward ledge design was thought to provide a balance in giving individuals a choice of whether to make a wet or dry deposit depending on how far one scoots forward on the toilet seat.  With a rearward ledge as seen in the above and below photos, this wet-dry flex option is not really feasible.

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Another thing I've noticed that's rough about doing toilet business is their paper.  It's tough (I've commonly seen 3-ply) but all the stuff I've encountered feels like sandpaper.  Feels bad man.  Maybe it's just a personal problem and just another thing that I need to get used to--I don't know.  SOS, need my plush Charmin ultra softs.

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